A quirky ladies’ road trip: 3 100 km of fun on the Cape’s back roads

First published in the Sunday Times, November 2020

In numbers:

1 Renault

3 women

3100km

I once read ‘Using a travel consultant is like a great bottle of wine. You may never know all the love and attention that went into creating the trip – but you’ll definitely taste it’. But sometimes, a great bottle of wine, or more than one, becomes the travel consultant, as was the case when three accidental tourists (as we coined ourselves) decided to embark on a road trip. To be more specific, on a road trip that would lead us down as many gravel roads as possible.

It all started on a Sunday afternoon over too many tipples. We already had a lunch booking at Wolfgat in Paternoster; we didn’t plan to drive anywhere thereafter. We could just as well head north the next day, we semi-slurred whilst a road atlas was found at the back of a cupboard.

Not having much – apart from a love of cooking and wine – in common we had to plan this with a modicum of caution.

The designated driver wanted to braai next to the road whenever she felt the urge; she also wanted to buy lots of wors along the way and traipse into a myriad butcheries. She needed a break from her daytime job as the editor of a community newspaper.

Passenger One didn’t really care where we were going as long as we were going somewhere. With the logical mind of a business analyst she drew up various documents of what to pack, how many kilometres we will be covering each day and how much wine we need to last us for 11 days.

I went along for the ride! And the fun there was to be had. I opted for the backseat where I could read to my heart’s content when I felt like it.

A sponsored SUV, the Renault Koleos Dynamic 4 x 4, was unearthed for us. It seems Renault quite liked the idea of three footloose and fancy-free women taking on the hinterland of the Northern Cape.

Upon departure the driver grumbled a bit about my luggage but it was a mock charge only. There was more than enough space after all. There was some pretense of moving some bags around a bit – we were ready for takeoff.

Day 1 Paarl – Langebaan

The less said about our first night at a friend’s house in Langebaan the better. Before it all went pear-shaped we had a sundowner at Pearly’s (https://pearlys.co.za/ ), Langebaan’s longest established restaurant, overlooking the lagune.

Day 2 Langebaan – Paternoster

A day for eating, not for driving. We booked for lunch at Wolfgat (https://www.wolfgat.co.za/ ), World Restaurant of the Year 2019, before the pandemic. Suffice to say, it is a world class experience in an idyllic setting. Great bokkom butter too!

From there it went a bit downhill with a night spent at the Panty Bar (http://www.paternosterhotel.co.za/pub) at Paternoster Hotel (http://www.paternosterhotel.co.za/) . The collection of ‘honeymoon panties’ strung along the ceiling was started by 1974 by the owner Johan Carosini. There are too many to count even if not a single drop of alcohol has passed your lips.

Day 3 Paternoster – Doring Bay

It felt good to hit the R399, albeit a bit bleary-eyed. Day 3 held the promise of sightseeing and scenic driving.

We strolled down Bokkomlaan in Velddrif (https://www.westcoastway.co.za/bokkom-laan-velddrif/) where more than a whiff of salted dried bokkom hangs in the air, whizzed through Dwarskersbos and waved to a train before we drove into Elands Bay for Bloody Marys on the lawn of the Eland’s Bay Hotel (https://www.elandsbayhotel.co.za/) with a view of the ocean.

We knew the pier at Doring Bay was awaiting us so after a quick harbour photo session at Lambert’s Bay that is where we headed. You will search far and wide to find a better place to sip sauvignon blanc than at Fryer’s Cove (https://fryerscovewine.co.za/) under the gaze of the black and white Doringbaai Lighthouse.

At sunset we headed for our self-catering accommodation where we braaied boerewors and made braaibroodjies.

Day 4 Doring Bay – Pofadder

We left at the crack of dawn because there was a lot of gravel road to be covered.

The NG Kerk in Nuwerus

A tiny graveyard across from the church in Nuwerus

The first of many imposing church photos was taken in Lutzville. This was soon topped by the NG Kerk in Nuwerus , designed by Gerard Moerdyk, the architect who also designed the Voortrekker Monument. There might even be a slight resemblance once you know who the architect is…

The train station at Bitterfontein

On a Sunday Bitterfontein is dead quiet

Bitterfontein Boerewinkel

At Bitterfontein we crossed the N7 to take the R358 to Pofadder. We cruised merrily for 268 km on a good gravel road with our trusty steed, the Koleos (https://www.renault.co.za/cars/KOLEOS/NewRenaultKoleos.html). Incidently Koleos translates to testicle in Latin!

A deserted playground in Kliprand

At Kliprand an old Firestone sign swivelled on the roof of a one-door one-window building with two petrol pumps of yesteryear guarding the front. An abandoned play park on the edge of town caught our attention.

In the middle of nowhere a braai grid was unpacked. A roadside braai, ek sê.

We were booked into chalets in Pofadder instead of the Pofadder Hotel (https://www.pofadderhotel.co.za/) due to a misunderstanding but that didn’t dampen our spirits.

Day 5 Pofadder – Kenhardt

On the spur of the moment we decided to drive to Onseepkans, a monitoring border post on the banks of the Orange River.

Die Pienk Padstal

The sightseeing theme of the day continued: pink oil drum donkeys and hundreds of number plates plastered all over Die Pienk Padstal (https://www.kakamas.co.za/the-pienk-padstal/), a nartjie gin tasting at Die Mas (https://www.diemas.co.za/) in Kakamas, a waterfall and dassies grazing everywhere at Augrabies Falls National Park (https://www.sanparks.org/parks/augrabies/)  and enamelware shopping at Oma Miemie’s Farm Stall (https://www.sa-venues.com/things-to-do/northerncape/oma-miemies-farm-stall/) in Kenhardt.

A warm bed and true plattelandse hospitality awaited us at the local yokel Kenhardt Hotel (http://www.kenhardthotel.co.za/) .

Day 6 Kenhardt – Prieska

As Wikipedia so aptly describe it, ‘In South Africa the term Putsonderwater is used to indicate a far-off place, similarly to Timbuktu’.

Putsonderwater is not only a far-off place; it has become a ghost town – it is completely abandoned. Except for one resident – or two if you count his cat Dorothy as well – who is camping out in the old general dealer building. Bertie Swart has pitched two tents under the roof of the old shop and he is not intending to leave soon.

The NG Kerk in Prieska

We spent the night on a pistachio farm in Prieska.

Day 7 Prieska – Orania

In need of fortification before entering Orania we found a bar in Hopetown.

Then we did it! We drove to Orania (https://www.karoo-information.co.za/routes/town/503/orania)  . Through the streets and up to the koppie where the likes of Paul Kruger and Hendrik Verwoerd look out over thedusty town. We ordered craft beer and skaapstertjies at Zebra – Die Trop Ding, despite the name of the place.

No matter how many times we asked for directions we couldn’t find the Koeksister Monument. Only to find out that it is in for repairs at the moment.

Not even Wynand Boshoff of the Freedom Front Plus, who solved the riddle for us, knew where it had gone; he had to make a few calls first.

We dined and slept at the Orania Oewer Hotel (https://www.oraniahotel.co.za/).

Day 8 Orania – Vosburg

We didn’t find a bar in De Aar (https://www.karoo-southafrica.com/eastern-upper-karoo/de-aar/ ); instead we explored De Aar junction. This train station has 110 kilometres of railway track and 29 railway lines, I read after our visit. It’s quiet these days though trains still pass through.

At the Vosburg Hotel (or Karoo Country Inn) (https://www.travelground.com/accommodation/karoo-country-inn-81) two boerboels made a cameo appearance as barmen.

We slept soundly knowing these two were guarding the hotel as their second job. Not that much happens in Vosburg, a delightful hamlet with friendly people and a church with a pulpit that resembles the bow of a ship.

In the 80s you could buy a house in Vosburg for R1500, a friend whatsapped when he saw where we were roaming.

Day 9 Vosburg – Oudtshoorn

Complimentary moerkoffie at Vosburg Hotel perked us up, followed by breakfast at the opulent Lord Carnarvon’s Guesthouse (https://www.lordcarnarvonguesthouse.co.za/) , coffee in Loxton, a pink gin at Klaarstroom Hotel (https://www.klaarstroomhotel.co.za/), driving through Meiringspoort that never fails to impress, and then we arrived at De Zeekoe Guest Farm (https://www.dezeekoe.co.za/) just outside Oudtshoorn on the R328.

At De Zeekoe each of us had our own stone cottage with a stoep and its own braai. As the sun set, we settled on a patio and enjoyed the view.  

Day 10 Oudtshoorn – Mossel Bay

Another early morning to be in time to become acquainted with meerkats from a distance, at the meerkat adventure, 5 Shy Meerkats  (https://www.fiveshymeerkats.co.za/) which turned out to be a very informative experience with our passionate guide, JD Glinister. The meerkats are cute as buttons too!

Alas, there was only one more sleep to go. After breakfast at Café at The Rose (look on Facebook) and some wine tasting at Boplaas in Calitzdorp (https://www.boplaas.co.za/) we opted for the last gravel road of our trip.

We drove through Gamkaberg Nature Reserve (https://www.capenature.co.za/reserves/gamkaberg-nature-reserve/) on a fairly rugged terrain all the way up to a mountainous plateau overlooking deep ravines. Passing Vanwyksdorp we found one last bar just outside Herbertsdale, The Nut House Pub (look on Facebook).

Our last night was spent in Mossel Bay where we had the good fortune to stay with a friend.

On Day 11 we headed back to the Boland to pick up our normal lives again. We covered 3100 kms from start to finish. I’m planning the next one. #supportlocaltourism